Isn't it though? I shouldn't even be alive right now.

[Why was he still alive anyway? Part of him is thankful of course, but part of him wishes that he had just died back then after being stuck with so much to reconsider about his life. What good would it do to mull over the past when it was obviously a failure? He was smarter than to relive the same life that brought him ruin in the first place, but that was easier said than done to let go.]

This whole time you thought of us as friends, meanwhile I'd only looked out for myself. I don't get you... [But there doesn't seem to be much resistance in that.] I don't even know who I really am at this point.