[Why was this happening? Why was he allowing this to happen? Was it because he had nothing left? No matter how long it had been, he still had no idea how to move on. He couldn't keep living a lie when there was nothing left, and yet lies were all he had to protect himself with.

And here was Ren still trying to become friends. To still get to know him even though he knew everything he'd done. What kind of stupid idiot did that anyway? Why did he let him just get away with this so easily? He didn't understand anything and that frustrated him. There was no one here and no chance of anyone coming in, so he had no reason to fall back to his usual facade. Not when Ren knew what he was like.]

What does it matter? It's not like I have anything left. Why are you so insistent on getting closer to someone like me...? [A pause] Trash like me...?

[That deep seated adversity towards friendship was still very present, but only conflicted things more. Deep down he knew he was lonely. His cognitive self wasn't lying and that pissed him off even more. He wanted someone to want him around and yet when someone was doing just that, he found it so hard to accept it after so long. Why couldn't he just accept it? Why couldn't he just let go of the past?]